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miercuri, 9 iunie 2010

a nice and relaxed journey...


This post started with an e-mail that I wrote to a very dear friend from Portugal.
She asked me to tell her how my pregnancy goes, and instead of just attaching some pictures and writing 3 lines, I found myself in the middle of a 3 pages message, detailing feelings and experiences that wanted to be shared... so I will share...
for all the ones that would like to hear, or that need to hear...

how am I doing after a 6 and half pregnancy...

WE ARE just DOING GREAT!!

this pregnancy was very natural and normal, and i accepted everything like it is exactly how it was supposed to be, SO, it was really really easy so far
no sickness whatsoever
no cravings
nothing special happening (- in the bad way :D)
my boobs got bigger :))))))))
my belly is now huge also
but all the changes i felt in my body, I felt they happened natural, my body getting ready to host another life inside it for 9 months - so no negative anything :D
in the first trimester, I had a slightly weird schedule, at 13.00-13.30, my batteries ran out completely and I had to take a rest. When I put my head on the pillow I slept almost instantly - and woke up in 45 minutes or one hour, completely fresh...
this was also normal - the poor baby was making lungs, and a heart and some hands and fingers.... :))) so, it took a lot of energy to make all those... it needed my body to be rested and to have all the resources it needed :D
so i changed my schedule - and turned off my phone from 13.00 to 14.30 - and worked only before and after this...
but after i finished the first three months, this need to sleep at lunch - just stopped

now it's just good and nice, and full of energy

during the whole time, i learned a lot how to listen to my body and to eat what it needs - the baby needing some key elements, so my body was asking for food that contained those elements
i didn't even need to know what was recommended for a diet when pregnant
my body was asking for stuff and it as clear: moments of drinking a lot of milk, another period of eating lemons (i realized later that it was a time when people around me got sick, so my body was asking for some extra immunity :D), then tomatoes, then strawberries, a looooott of water (i'm really thirsty all the times, and i pee a lot, but oh well :D)....
all very natural and relaxed... :)

i realized that you don't need to know too much stuff beforehand... if you let things be, you will apprehend everything you need to know, by the process itself
no wonder the people have been giving birth in this way for such a long time now... the body developed the required functions for you to be able to do it easily and naturally....

i stopped reading maternity books after the first best seller got in my hands and after the first 50 pages i realized that my anxiety level got really high...
they all present you things that COULD happen...
things that you should be aware of...
and i realized that it had brought to my universe information that was not there, worries that i didn't have, and that were not based on MY EXPERIENCE, but on some studies and statistical research...

i love my doctor - i got to him by "accident" - i woke up one morning knowing that i was pregnant, even if there were no signs before that, i took a test and it was positive, and we needed a doctor to confirm - so we "googled" gynecologists form cluj that had private cabinets and worked the next afternoon :D
so it was pure chance... and just the way things work... :)
we had such a nice conversation at this first meeting, that i loved him instantly! - he considers, like i also do, that pregnancy is not something so special; it happens very often to people :D, it's the way we, as a race, carry on... so it's not something... out of the ordinary. and if you listen to your own body, you will know exactly what to do, and you won't even need a doctor
we keep going just because this is how it's done, and because it's ok to be safe...
but he's really cool (if anybody cares, his name is Romeo Micu) - When i first asked him what dietary restrictions does he suggest, he answered to eat whatever i can eat, and if i get sick, it will be my body's way of telling me not to eat that thing anymore :)))) - so this is how he is...; when i asked him if i could travel, he said that statistically, in the first trimester, most of the miscarriages could occur. but then he wanted to underline the words "statistically" and "could", who do not equal with WILL :)... so he concluded that I should do how i feel, because each pregnancy is different and there shouldn't be any common recommendations from outside... my body will know the best...

 
and this week, the doctor confirmed what i had felt from the very beginning - that IT'S A GIRL!!
but this thing is really not relevant to us
he/she is healthy
and we're both well

i felt her soul more than once
we already have a relationship beyond any need of physical form...
i KNOW that she came to us on purpose
our souls have a journey together here on earth
and we have stuff to teach eachother - this was very clear to me the first time i felt the little angel's presence...
very cool feeling :)

and now i'm reading an OSHO book - "The book about babies" - and it just tells me in words what i've been feeling about this whole journey  
i don't have an image of what my baby is going to be like...
i'm just looking forward to meeting her! :)
she already has a soul and a background
my job - at a conscious level now - is just to allow her to be as she already is
and not to put what i already know
what i KNOW, comes from my past and from my experiences
she has the right to discover herself...
and to experience
and to create her own image of the world and the everything...

i can't wait to have this journey with her
and to see what we have to discover together...


:)

SO i'm just enjoying, and letting things be...

this is how our lives happen...

in the last months we've been involved in a great charity project (that Lia and I coordinated - and it turned out better than we hoped!!)
we also created on the 1st of june - when in romania we celebrate children's day - a great event to celebrate children of all ages - an event of freedom and joy, full self expression, creativity, play, and relaxation 
i delivered some trainings that came in my way - and it gave me the chance to meet great people and learn a lot...

and now i feel like all the activities are kind of done
and it's the perfect time to tie up loose ends, finish and complete details...
and to let this whole active part a bit aside... :)

on sunday, the three of us are leaving for an 8 days vacation at the seaside - we love the seaside and we can't wait to meet it again!!
we're planning just to let it be...
it happened by default anyway :D
the timing, the location, the money...- it all just fitted
so it is!!

and then, we'll see...
i have no idea what will come,
but i feel strangely ready to embrace it all...
not worried, not anxious, not even very curious...
just relaxed and with a weird feeling of confidence that we will be able to handle it - no matter what will be
because this is why it happened to US, because someone considers that WE are ready to face and deal with it....

so this is us...
this is our life...

grateful for what we have
and enjoying what is!