spatiu si lumina....

asa de multe curcubee la Cluj in ultima perioada!!

intregi, duble, clare, minunate, lumina, frumos, magie...

parca vin doar ca sa ne arate cat de binecuvantati suntem, si cat de frumos e locul asta in care traim...

a fost foarte fain aseara, cand dupa o furtuna venita din senin, curcubeul parca m-a chemat la fereastra... si mi-a spus ca este semn pentru copilul care vine acum in familia noastra - semn ca se naste in locul potrivit, ca spatiul in care vine ii e binecuvantat... ca e bine...

:)

ma bucura spatiul asta in care sunt acum, inainte de a se naste...

plin de liniste si... pregatire

am momente multe de conectare si frumos

va fi liber sa fie cine este si cum este

ii cream impreuna cu Luci spatiul sa existe asa cum ESTE...

si asa cum spunea chiar Luci zilele trecute, inca acest copil e doar... entitate... suflet... spirit...

nu exista fizic
nu e inca nici fetita nici baiat

corpul lui se formeaza deja, creste si se dezvolta, se pregateste sa-i ofere "gazduire" pentru calatoria ce o va petrece aici cu noi...

asa cum corpul meu se pregateste si-i ofera "conditiile necesare" :D pentru asta...

natural si fara interventii dinafara...

parca stiau dinainte ce este de facut, si doar fac... doar sunt... se intampla

iar perioada asta de pregatire e fantastica

simt lucruri pe care nu le-am mai simtit pana acum

gandesc lucruri la care nu m-am mai gandit

am acces la informatii care sunt relevante doar acum

e momentul potrivit

discutiile pe care le avem cu Luci despre acest copil sunt la un nivel cum n-as fi crezut posibil

e asa de conectat si el la o dimensiune spirituala...

nu stim ce va fi... nu stim ce va urma...

si nici nu conteaza

perioada asta o savuram cu fiecare moment care trece

ne pregatim si ascultam... simtim... lasam sa fie...

ne traim trairile asa cum vin

si invatam din experiente

nimic nu e intamplator...

iar copilul va avea viata lui... atunci cand va veni...

exact asa cum are nevoie sa-i fie

isi va trai experientele

va invata

va creste...

si impreuna vom trai exact ce avem de trait

era un cantec ce spune "just be yourself, is all that you can do"... e suficient sa fii tu exact asa cum esti, asa cum iti vine, sa actionezi cum simti... lucrurile sa curga natural, iar atunci iti vei implini "menirea", iti vei trai experientele pentru care ai venit

si oricum te-ai simti, si orice s-ar intampla, lucrurile care trebuie sa se intample, se vor intampla oricum... :)

daca le lasi sa curga

chiar daca nu intelegi de ce...

lasa sa fie...

si la un moment dat va fi clar...

oricum s-ar simti acum...

doar fi! exact asa cum ESTI!

allowing things to be

I'm not making myself a baby
I had this feeling from the very beginning
it's not like i'm MAKING anything
the baby chose to come
he chose us as her parents
and we said yes
but that was the extend of it :)
she's growing by herself...
without me helping the process
i'm only just a "pipe"
allowing her to get a human shape again...
i know it sounds a bit strange
but it's a cool feeling :)
her soul existed before this
SHE existed before this
and there is a natural way through which souls get bodies for a new life...
i'm simply allowing the process to happen
and i simply just agreed to that...
she already has an identity
she IS
and she knows herself...
my role it's just to be part of her way.. i mean this is another feeling that i clearly had - that we chose eachother because we have a common journey... at least for a while
and i'm so willing to live it!
and to let it be
to see what we have to grow toghether
what messages she has for me
what experiences she needs to live by my side
but it's not MY baby... because i'm not making her. she doesn't belong to me
she belongs to herself
and she is already all that she needs to be
my role is simple... allowing her to be.. :)
and i can't wait for us to meet and get to know each other!

i felt her soul
her angel soul...
she definitely has lessons for me too.... and perspectives - i already felt that
and for the rest, she's growing naturally, the process happens by itself
my body changes to allow her to exist in this world
and i don't have to prepare myself for this
in a very deep way, from a very rooted conscience... i know what to do, even if nobody taught me..
i just need to listen to my body
it's inner wisdom knows what needs to be done
the cells know... maybe learned from a very long line of cells doing the same thing over time...
i just know...
no. i just am...
and i don't need to know in order to be...
it's simple and easy...
things happen...
and i let them to...
and i'm happy
i have no idea why
i'm happy in the process...
enjoying it
and looking forward to discover what's next...
and even if this was it... it's still worth it

i watched a TED movie today (see below) talking about happiness


and about the fact that we mostly just look back and see if we WERE happy... and that is being affected by the last moment of the experience; meaning that if the whole experience was ok, but it ended badly, we would most likely remember how it ended, and refer to that experience as a not so good one...

i don't care how my experience will end
i loved it until now
and i love it now
i had all my rewards and gifts and joys
everything that i wanted or needed!!
and it's all about this!!
the NOW, when i'm enjoying...

i'm happy little girl!!!
thank you for giving me access to all this new range of emotions and experiences
and no matter what will happen in the future
i will always be grateful for these times :)

with love,
me...

about love

I love my baby...
I love waking up every morning and smiling when seeing his face watching me...
I love holding him in my arms
and i love it when we kiss
ir's so simple and beautiful to just love
simply
without any stories...
it's very easy
he makes me feel happy
i am happy
and it's so easy
i feel how he chooses to be happy with us
i see him making this choice every momnet
and i love him for that
even more than before...
i love my baby...
and it's so easy
i love him now
every... NOW :)