allowing things to be

I'm not making myself a baby
I had this feeling from the very beginning
it's not like i'm MAKING anything
the baby chose to come
he chose us as her parents
and we said yes
but that was the extend of it :)
she's growing by herself...
without me helping the process
i'm only just a "pipe"
allowing her to get a human shape again...
i know it sounds a bit strange
but it's a cool feeling :)
her soul existed before this
SHE existed before this
and there is a natural way through which souls get bodies for a new life...
i'm simply allowing the process to happen
and i simply just agreed to that...
she already has an identity
she IS
and she knows herself...
my role it's just to be part of her way.. i mean this is another feeling that i clearly had - that we chose eachother because we have a common journey... at least for a while
and i'm so willing to live it!
and to let it be
to see what we have to grow toghether
what messages she has for me
what experiences she needs to live by my side
but it's not MY baby... because i'm not making her. she doesn't belong to me
she belongs to herself
and she is already all that she needs to be
my role is simple... allowing her to be.. :)
and i can't wait for us to meet and get to know each other!

i felt her soul
her angel soul...
she definitely has lessons for me too.... and perspectives - i already felt that
and for the rest, she's growing naturally, the process happens by itself
my body changes to allow her to exist in this world
and i don't have to prepare myself for this
in a very deep way, from a very rooted conscience... i know what to do, even if nobody taught me..
i just need to listen to my body
it's inner wisdom knows what needs to be done
the cells know... maybe learned from a very long line of cells doing the same thing over time...
i just know...
no. i just am...
and i don't need to know in order to be...
it's simple and easy...
things happen...
and i let them to...
and i'm happy
i have no idea why
i'm happy in the process...
enjoying it
and looking forward to discover what's next...
and even if this was it... it's still worth it

i watched a TED movie today (see below) talking about happiness


and about the fact that we mostly just look back and see if we WERE happy... and that is being affected by the last moment of the experience; meaning that if the whole experience was ok, but it ended badly, we would most likely remember how it ended, and refer to that experience as a not so good one...

i don't care how my experience will end
i loved it until now
and i love it now
i had all my rewards and gifts and joys
everything that i wanted or needed!!
and it's all about this!!
the NOW, when i'm enjoying...

i'm happy little girl!!!
thank you for giving me access to all this new range of emotions and experiences
and no matter what will happen in the future
i will always be grateful for these times :)

with love,
me...